Decision making.

ellief
Senior Sharer

Posts: 171

Decision making. Jan 1, 2014 10:23:31 GMT

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Post by ellief on Jan 1, 2014 10:23:31 GMT

Hey, so my original blog post about this is here: elizadoda.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/you-really-want-something-you-get-ityou.html
but basically, I wrote it and thought it might be relevant for here. Ages ago I started using the phrase "if you really want something you'll get it/do it." Which can be really positive for dreams and ambitions, but having BPD and struggling with my identity, I felt like if I wanted something and I didn't do it it wasn't valid, if that makes sense? Which really causes a lot of damage in certain areas of life. For example, if I wanted to die and I didn't try and kill myself then I was fake and didn't want it, because is wasn't acting on it. That if I didn't lose weight I was faking having an eating disorder and because I clearly didnt want the weight loss bad enough.
i don't know if I'm making sense, or if anyone else can relate.
but I, going to try not to put my identity in that anymore, and to be able to sit with desires, accept I have them and not act on them. It's going to be hard, but maybe then I wont keep nearly dying.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all. -bill clinton.

Michaela
Senior Sharer

Posts: 245

Decision making. Jan 5, 2014 19:40:43 GMT ellief and lucyrob like this

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Post by Michaela on Jan 5, 2014 19:40:43 GMT

That's a really well written post ellief, and an interesting idea I hadn't really considered before, although I've definitely used it in a negative way in my illnesses. I think the thing is that in our illnesses we focus only on one side - the side that feeds into negativity. For example, we think that if we wanted to kill ourselves we would do it, but there is also another side of us that doesn't want that, that wants another option. The existence of a side that wants to live or to change doesn't mean that the side that wants to die doesn't exist or is somnehow weak or untrue, but just that there is another side of us that is choosing something else and fighting that will. And fighting that makes us stronger right? Because despite how severe that negative will is, we are choosing the other option and letting the good choice be even more powerful. I'm not sure hpow much sense that made, but my point is basically that by fighting it we are stronger, that side is not weaker. xxx

ellief Senior Sharer Posts: 171	Decision making. Jan 15, 2014 15:57:04 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by ellief on Jan 15, 2014 15:57:04 GMT Thank you. The phrase can definitely be used for good too, but the motives have to be right I guess. Xx
	Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all. -bill clinton.

Toni-Louise: At the top of the page there will be the words create thread click on it and you will be taken to a page where you can create your thread Feb 15, 2014 14:08:46 GMT

Manisha: thanks gilly but yeah the hangout is open to everyone it will be quite introductory today so yeah nothing too serious

reply to the thread if you want in

Mar 3, 2014 9:54:56 GMT

Joe: Hey guys! The forum has been alittle quiet recently! Lets all start spreading thw word and Get MiLO booming again!!

Post by ellief on Jan 1, 2014 10:23:31 GMT

Post by Michaela on Jan 5, 2014 19:40:43 GMT

Post by ellief on Jan 15, 2014 15:57:04 GMT

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