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Post by Kimberley on Nov 24, 2013 18:27:38 GMT
Not sure if this is the right place, but not sure where else to turn to with this one!
I'm currently a part time Mature Student studying an Access to HE course. It's been suggested to me a few times (now and when I was younger) that I should go into teaching. I used to want to go into the psychological field but I honestly don't see myself as the sort of person prescribing medication and going by the system day in day out, when I don't always feel it works. Teaching is a great option for me as I've done volunteering in educational settings many times before, along with a love of being creative.
I've fallen in love with Sociology since I started it, and having such a fantastic tutor has made me realise how much I would genuinely love to teach it. My sociology class is fantastic, and I enjoy looking at the world in different perspectives and can see how beneficial this subject actually is. It allows you to explore society so much, and challenge the way you think.
However, here's my dilemma. I have always been an extremely indecisive person (apparently that's part of my mental health issues), and I'm not confident in my abilities. I'm petrified of failure. So I'm left with the dilemma of what course to study, and whether I should go into teaching or not.
My worry is that I will throw myself into this and get very ill again. What then? Or what about if I graduate and then start teaching and then get ill again? What happens then? What do I do if I start to have problems with SH, hallucinations or something else? I did open up to my tutor about these worries on a very basic level, but he told me that I can't think like that. I know he's right deep down but I'm so frustrated with these constant thoughts of "what if?"
What would you do in my situation?
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Post by lucyrob on Nov 24, 2013 20:12:34 GMT
Hey hun, I totally understand you're frustration. I'm studying at the moment to become a primary teacher. The thing is, you can't base your major life decisions on "what if"s. Life changes daily and that's the same for everyone. Yes, it's more extreme and different for MH patients, but that doesn't matter. You only have one life. You have to try to things you want. No one can do that for you. If you're scared of failing, then be scared but do it anyway. You won't have failed, you'll have just found out that it isn't for you. If you decide to do it and issues crop up when you've qualified, you'll have to deal with that if and when it comes Hun. You can't deal with situations that haven't happened. If you want to do this, you go for it! And we all here, especially me will back you all the way. But definitely do your research into it first. Often the idea of teaching is different to the reality and it's a majorearning curve  as long as you're someone who can work with constructive criticism, you'll be amazing. Hope this helps |
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Post by lucyrob on Nov 24, 2013 20:14:56 GMT
* major learning curve
Oh and ps. On the back of the one life thing, def look into it first in some depth, but everyone is different so please look into it in depth. Can't stress that enough.
Live your life!!!!
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Post by Kimberley on Nov 27, 2013 18:18:04 GMT
Hey Lucy I'm SO sorry I didn't reply. Your message means a lot though. Can I ask how you managed to push through and carry on teacher training?
I don't want these "what ifs" in my mind, it's just so difficult, but I do want to fight them, I don't want them to win, but the thought of it makes me feel so anxious. :-( xx
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Post by lucyrob on Nov 27, 2013 22:06:18 GMT
Don't be sorry at all! Honestly, I live by "take every opportunity you're given" (provided you think it's right for you and you're well enough obvs). but it sounds better without the part in brackets! We only have one life to make the most of it...why risk living with regrets? That's just my opinion though. I think we''ll always regret the things we didn't do more than the ones we did. At least we can learn from the things we do I completely understand...That's natural. Honestly. I hate to say this, but everyone makes a huge thing about choosing your future career. Why make it that big? Try it. Do it. If it works great, if not, try again with something else. We won't find what's right for us without trying if you know what I mean? I totally not trying to push you into teaching by the way...this applies to anything!! But seems as teaching is the situation in front of you then take a good look at why you want to do it. Weigh it all up in your head..and if you're still wanting to try it, GO FOR IT! I truly believe we need to make the most of this world and the things it offers. Teaching is a LOT of work. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to start off with and a massive learning curve... but that's how we learn. If you want to do it and it's a reasonable decision to make: go for it! |
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Post by lucyrob on Nov 27, 2013 22:07:11 GMT
That was so much longer than intended! Sorry... I'm just passionate about making the most of everything!! haha
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Post by Katrine on Nov 29, 2013 20:21:15 GMT
Hi,
I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. I am doing a second gap year now, afraid to start University because I'm not sure I'm able to finish it. I could have done so much better in college (I think that's the equivalent?) but because of my mood swings and feelings my grades are only so-so. So I'm afraid to begin school and fail again.
Like you I'm extremely indecisive and have no confidence what so ever in my own abilities. So it's hard to decide what to study as well.
But I think you've got to remember, that you can always change your mind. I know these things are easier said than done, but what I keep telling myself is that it's never too late to switch direction. I think both you and I need to stop worrying about 5 years from now and just focus on the next day.
I wish you all the best! <3
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Post by Michaela on Dec 8, 2013 1:04:03 GMT
Hey Kim, I'm sure I wrote a long reply to this, my phone must have fudged up again and not posted it :/
I totally understand where you are coming from, I am really indecisive too and illness makes that worse. But like Lucy said, you can't base your life around the fear of what might happen, you can only do what feels right at the time.
The best way to work out whether it is right for you is probably just to imagine that you weren't ill. If that wasn't a part of the picture, would you want to teach? Do you feel in your gut that is what you want to do? If so, then it is most likely the right decision.
The fact is, there is not way of knowing whether you will become ill or not. But planning your life assuming that it will happen, only makes it more likely. If you avoid doing things then you will stay stuck, it's only by trying things out that you can work out if they are right for you. Building something outside of your struggles will make it harder for them to knock it down.
I hope I don't sound dismissive, I know it's difficult. Another way is by noting how you feel when you are feeling ill versus when you are feeling well. I find myself questioning everything when things are bad, but that is the nature of the illness! When I am well though I am much surer that my goals are what I want.
And maybe that could change one day, and maybe you could change your mind at a later date - but even if that happened then you haven't wasted your time, you will have learned more about what you do want, rather than drifting and still feeling unsure. You can't regret something you have done when you know it was the right decision at the time, but are likely to regret something you didn't do out of fear.
I know it is a real fear that we will become ill again, but if that happens there are things we can do. If you do go to university then prepare ahead of time by contacting the mental health adviser and disability support team and finding out what support you can get - there is plenty out there and that would hopefully reassure you and help prevent it all from becoming overwhelming. There are always options, even transferring courses or suspending your degree and taking a year out if it came to that. Just know that you can get through it, if you decide that it is the right choice and try not to let your illness affect your decision too much.
Good luck honey, let us know how you get on and what you decide. I hope this was useful xxx
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Post by Kimberley on Dec 9, 2013 23:12:44 GMT
I can't honestly thank you all for your incredible replies. You've really brightened up my evening, so thank you.
Michaela, I hadn't thought about contacting services at uni before heading off there, what a brilliant idea. I'll definitely do that.
I was lucky enough to be nominated for an award today as part of adult learners' week. This has definitely made me realise that I'm at least doing SOMETHING right, even if I'm not through the woods yet. I can only take each day as it comes, each hour if I have to.
Thank you everyone. xxx
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 23:09:19 GMT
I have very little faith that despite all the studying im doing, my mh will prevent me from ever getting the job I want
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Post by Paul on Jan 7, 2014 18:44:19 GMT
I work as a teaching assistant with SEN and hearing impaired children in a primary setting.
Don't worry about being indecisive I've worked with a few teachers that are, but they are still great teachers.
I was wondering if you'd thought about starting out as a supply teacher as there's no planning to do, they generally get paid more and the supply's I have met seem to enjoy the variety of their role.
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as long as you're someone who can work with constructive criticism, you'll be amazing.
