Post by mia on Oct 31, 2013 12:25:25 GMT
This concept is really all about being a nicer person to yourself. Many MH disorders come with constant negative thoughts and actions towards ourselves, but would we act like this towards another person? More than likely not. You deserve to be kind to yourself as well as others.
Developing compassionate patterns within ourselves can help us deal with all the other feelings that are so negative. Compassion can soothe anger and anxiety, and can help us have the courage to face difficult emotions, tolerate them, and deal with them. Just like developing any quality, it takes time and effort, but you deserve that time and the effort towards recovery!
So lets consider the qualities of a compassionate person - it might help you to think of someone you know, or a celebrity or public figure who you see as very compassionate:
Whether you think you have these qualities or not, we can develop them using imagination. This is a very powerful tool - for example anger and fear are often based on IMAGINING and playing out scary situations in our minds. In this exercise you can learn to use your imagination in a positive way. It may even be that you DO have these qualities, but only the ability to direct them towards others, this should help you to turn it inward towards yourself.
Find somewhere where you can sit quietly and comfortably. Focus on a soothing breathing rhythm until your body slows down. When you have slowed down, think about all the qualities of a compassionate person, and what it would feel like to have them. Spend time on each quality. You are wise enough to know that your experiences are not your fault. You are strong enough to understand and tolerate difficulties. You have a sense of maturity and authority over your own life. Explore your body posture and make sure you are sitting comfortable and assertively - in a way that matches the idea of being strong. Keep your head upright, imagine yourself expanding with these qualities. Now, imagine being warm, kind and friendly. Now think about responsibility, try to imagine yourself speaking to someone and hear the warm tone in your voice. You have lost interest in blaming, and now want to relieve suffering and produce change and happiness. You want to do the best you can to help yourself move forward.
Pay attention to the sensations in your body as you develop these parts of yourself. Just as you know that your chest tightens as you panic, feel it relax as you imagine these qualities, tune into the positive sensations in your body and learn to recognise those with comfort and warmth.
Personally, I found this exercise difficult to start with. But, like many, I find these qualities very easy to give to other people, just not to myself. So after a couple of tries at this exercise, I decided to think of moments in my life when I've been compassionate to another person. I relived those moments in my mind, really saw them. And once I had that image clear in my mind, I replaced that person with an image of myself. So it's me, talking to me. If I gave that person a hug, then it's me hugging me. I found this really really helped, and slowly I've started being a bit kinder to myself. I used to start the day chastising myself for being tired and struggling to get up, now I start the day telling myself I'm on medication that makes me drowsy and this is normal, just get up and treat yourself to a warm cup of coffee, and all will be well.
Would love to know if this works for anyone else!! It DOES take practice. I had to do it a lot before it started working, but eventually, the compassionate thoughts start to creep in without even realising!
Good luck!!
Developing compassionate patterns within ourselves can help us deal with all the other feelings that are so negative. Compassion can soothe anger and anxiety, and can help us have the courage to face difficult emotions, tolerate them, and deal with them. Just like developing any quality, it takes time and effort, but you deserve that time and the effort towards recovery!
So lets consider the qualities of a compassionate person - it might help you to think of someone you know, or a celebrity or public figure who you see as very compassionate:
- WISDOM - derived from personal experiences
- MATURITY AND INSIGHT - into the nature of things and life's difficulties.
- STRENGTH - fortitude and courage (which doesn't always roar!!)
- WARMTH AND KINDNESS
- NON-CONDEMNING AND NON-JUDGEMENTAL
- Having a SENCE OF RESPONSIBILITY and THE DESIRE TO HELP OR CHANGE
Whether you think you have these qualities or not, we can develop them using imagination. This is a very powerful tool - for example anger and fear are often based on IMAGINING and playing out scary situations in our minds. In this exercise you can learn to use your imagination in a positive way. It may even be that you DO have these qualities, but only the ability to direct them towards others, this should help you to turn it inward towards yourself.
Find somewhere where you can sit quietly and comfortably. Focus on a soothing breathing rhythm until your body slows down. When you have slowed down, think about all the qualities of a compassionate person, and what it would feel like to have them. Spend time on each quality. You are wise enough to know that your experiences are not your fault. You are strong enough to understand and tolerate difficulties. You have a sense of maturity and authority over your own life. Explore your body posture and make sure you are sitting comfortable and assertively - in a way that matches the idea of being strong. Keep your head upright, imagine yourself expanding with these qualities. Now, imagine being warm, kind and friendly. Now think about responsibility, try to imagine yourself speaking to someone and hear the warm tone in your voice. You have lost interest in blaming, and now want to relieve suffering and produce change and happiness. You want to do the best you can to help yourself move forward.
Pay attention to the sensations in your body as you develop these parts of yourself. Just as you know that your chest tightens as you panic, feel it relax as you imagine these qualities, tune into the positive sensations in your body and learn to recognise those with comfort and warmth.
Personally, I found this exercise difficult to start with. But, like many, I find these qualities very easy to give to other people, just not to myself. So after a couple of tries at this exercise, I decided to think of moments in my life when I've been compassionate to another person. I relived those moments in my mind, really saw them. And once I had that image clear in my mind, I replaced that person with an image of myself. So it's me, talking to me. If I gave that person a hug, then it's me hugging me. I found this really really helped, and slowly I've started being a bit kinder to myself. I used to start the day chastising myself for being tired and struggling to get up, now I start the day telling myself I'm on medication that makes me drowsy and this is normal, just get up and treat yourself to a warm cup of coffee, and all will be well.
Would love to know if this works for anyone else!! It DOES take practice. I had to do it a lot before it started working, but eventually, the compassionate thoughts start to creep in without even realising!
Good luck!! 
