Josh
Newbie
Posts: 19
|
Post by Josh on Jul 22, 2013 23:59:11 GMT
Right, so since these forums are only a few days old and everyone is still getting to know each other, why not use the ultimate ice breaker? Tell us a funny joke.
Keep it short and sweet (keep the dirty jokes for later) and aim to put a smile on a fellow forum users face.
Remember, the cheesier the better.
Ill go first... Conjunctivitis.com, thats a site for sore eyes.
Right, so thats the painfuly bad joke out of the way. lets see some good ones.
|
|
|
Post by Bex on Jul 23, 2013 10:01:30 GMT
I just ate a frozen apple. Hardcore.
|
|
James
Junior Sharer
I'm a sausagehead
Posts: 53
|
Post by James on Jul 23, 2013 12:46:51 GMT
Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
|
|
James
Junior Sharer
I'm a sausagehead
Posts: 53
|
Post by James on Jul 23, 2013 17:23:38 GMT
I said to the gym instructor: "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said: "How flexible are you?" I said: "I can't make Tuesdays."
|
|
martinlom
Junior Sharer
er...hum...hey...what?
Posts: 80
|
Post by martinlom on Jul 24, 2013 18:11:31 GMT
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
|
|
James
Junior Sharer
I'm a sausagehead
Posts: 53
|
Post by James on Jul 25, 2013 11:56:59 GMT
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation? A: The baaaahamas
Q: How does a dog stop a video? A: He presses the paws button.
|
|
|
Post by Casey on Jul 25, 2013 18:20:38 GMT
2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says to the other "My God, it's hot in here!" and the other replies "I don't believe it! A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
Which US state has the smallest drinks? Mini-soda
What happened to the magical tractor? It turned into a field
The calendar's days are numbered...
How do you get 10 Pikachu's on a bus? you poke 'em on
I tried to build an irony detector but the damn thing won't work! ...It detects everything except irony
Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says "Get out! We do not serve Noble Gases here!" Argon...does not react.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field? a ba-BOON!
I am very sorry guys...I should have put a trigger warning on this...
|
|
|
Post by callum on Jul 28, 2013 3:45:37 GMT
This is actual cringe worthy, but I was live on TV (well, uni TV) when the Pope resigned and turned to my co-presenter and went 'What happens when the Pope resigns?' 'Another one Popes up.' Poor, poor show. Lol.
|
|
|
Post by BethH on Aug 1, 2013 9:22:04 GMT
It wouldn't be a joke thread without this one:
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
|
|
|
Post by Casey on Aug 2, 2013 14:45:02 GMT
What's pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff
What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding it's breath...
|
|
|
Post by saintkate on Aug 3, 2013 8:38:50 GMT
O...my...gosh.... I adore cheesy corny jokes. Here are some of my favorites: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow witg NO legs? Ground beef (those were jokes of Mitchs he said to me. It always makes me think of his smile ) How do you make an egg roll? You push it. Ehat did the pony say when it had a sore throat? Sorry but Im a little horse. Hehehehe more corny jokes please ;D Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I547 using proboards
|
|
|
Post by Joel on Aug 4, 2013 13:12:49 GMT
My mate got sacked from working on the dodgems. It's ok though he's suing for funfair dismissal!
|
|
|
Post by Joel on Aug 4, 2013 13:14:58 GMT
I was in the doctors waiting room and a woman walks in with the top of a lettuce leaf sticking out of the top of her trousers. I said to her "that looks painful!"
She says "that's just the tip of the iceberg!" Pahaha!
|
|
|
Post by Beth on Aug 9, 2013 20:25:28 GMT
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
Bad I know! :')
|
|
|
Post by Paul on Aug 10, 2013 17:50:20 GMT
Why are pirates called pirates ?
Because they arrrre
|
|