cole
Newbie
Posts: 2 
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Post by cole on Jan 21, 2014 17:52:18 GMT
Hi,
My girlfriend has Anxiety, I really want to know how to help her when she's feeling Anxious.
It's hard for her to explain her thoughts when she's feeling Anxious.
It's okay when I'm with her as I can comfort her physically as well as mentally, but it's tough when I'm at work.
I just would like some help and advice on this as sometimes I feel like I'm unable to be there for her when she feeling Anxious.
What are the right things to say and are there any exercises we can go through together as a couple?
Thank you
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Post by lucyrob on Jan 21, 2014 21:43:09 GMT
I'm so sorry it's taken a while for someone to reply. I've only just been made aware on this...
I think the best thing sometimes is just reassurance. A lot if it and maybe talk her through some breathing exercises?
Such as, taking a deep breath in, then pretending there's a candle flame in front of your mouth and breathing about as slow as you can, not to blow it out.
I'm honestly useless with ideas for this. But reassuring her that she's ok, you care for her etc etc and helping her slow her breathing can help a lot
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Post by mia on Jan 21, 2014 21:55:49 GMT
Hi Cole,
Can I just say first of all that I think it's amazing you want to help and support her so much, and that you see it as important that it's something you face together, that in itself I'm sure is such a huge comfort to her. Having a supportive partner in these situations really goes a long way!
In terms of exercises, have you looked into mindfulness at all? It's something that's helped tremendously in my recovery and it's being increasingly used for anxiety these days. At a very basic level, it's different breathing exercises, like the one Lucy's already described that are aimed at grounding you and bringing you into the present moment, which can be very powerful in reducing the racing thoughts and panic that anxiety can bring about.
Mindfulness based therapy is available on the NHS, so it's definitely worth a trip to the Dr to ask for a referral. If you have a recovery college in your area as well there's often a lot of courses there.
With the right things to say, it's different for every person. And honestly it sounds as though you are doing a brilliant job already. For me I don't really like it when someone asks me "why", because more often than not there is no why, and it can be quite distressing having to try and satisfy someone with a reason when there isn't one. Ask her what helps for her, and let her know you're open to exploring options as a couple.
Hope some of that helps a little!!
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Post by Toni-Louise on Jan 21, 2014 23:31:58 GMT
I think it's lovely that you are so suppotive,your girlfriend is lucky to have someone who is so supportive of her.
I also agree with breathing exercises and mindfulness and it is so fantastic that she has someone to help her with these things =]
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cole
Newbie
Posts: 2
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Post by cole on Jan 22, 2014 13:00:50 GMT
Hi, Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate you all for taking the time to read this. Last night was a struggle as she was feeling anxious and didn't know how to explain things in her head, there were a few tears but I think I managed it well (i hadn't read these comments until this morning). I'll look into Mindfulness today and see if I can help with that I'll also know to not question her when she's feeling like this - I can't imagine how it feels but I'm trying to do the best I can. I really do appreciate this advice, it's nice that I can just talk to people about it. Thanks for the support.  |
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Post by lucyrob on Jan 22, 2014 13:22:57 GMT
That's so incredibly understanding of you! I wish more people were like that.
I think a lot of the time it's a tiny comfort just to know she's not alone y'know?
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Post by mia on Jan 22, 2014 14:10:40 GMT
Congratulations on getting through last night! Hope you can come and chat here whenever you need to. It deffinitely helps to be around people who understand
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Post by Helen on Jan 22, 2014 19:23:13 GMT
It's so great that you've come here to look for ideas to help your partner. Just knowing you have someone who cares for you that deeply helps. But it's not easy - for either of you. I don't really have much to say to help but one thing I find helpful is listening to white noise. There are clocks or phone apps that can do this for you. I find listening to the ocean relaxes me and helps me to breathe slower.
Do come and chat to people if you want or need to share. Nobody has the answers but things will get better if you work at it and you're obviously very caring because you are looking for advice.
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