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Post by Toni-Louise on Jan 7, 2014 1:06:52 GMT
So basically I have started this thread to ask what peoples opinions are of the support received by people who are close to someone with a mental health problem,I am also interested in how sufferers view the support they themselves receive but I am particularly interested in the support for those who are close to the sufferer obviously there is a high incidence of people on this site who are both sufferers and close to someone who sufferers from mental health and I would like to hear peoples views on the support provided
I feel that support received by the sufferer should also include the sufferers family (or partners) as from my experience relatives can be kept out of the loop and be unsure what is being done and how they can help.if the relative was kept in the loop perhaps it could be mutually beneficial as they could help the sufferer while feeling more clued in as to the situation.
Opinions? Or does anyone feel that they are in fact kept in the loop if so was this automatically the case or did you have to request this,my situation makes this quite difficult and any advice would be welcomed
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Post by lucyrob on Jan 8, 2014 13:04:14 GMT
Sorry hun, only now seeing this.
Where to start? As a sufferer: The support I received from family and those closest to me was incredible. Although they didn't see what they did as a massive help, it made all the difference. It was such a chore to eat, so my mother would buy what food I fancied (if anything) and give me small portions of food but more often. Also bought me milkshakes with all the vitamins etc that you need instead of a meal if I hadn't had much to eat that day. I think the most someone can do is be understanding if you can't do something. I was never pressured into getting better. I was encouraged and supported but no one was impatient. The one or two friends who knew, although they had no idea what I was dealing with, tried to be patient and understanding. I was so moody but my parents would gently remind me that I was being this way and I would re-adjust. They didn't mind that I was moody as I couldn't help it, but when I would snap at people they'd remind me and be so patient with me. I never really talked about how I felt because I didn't want to, but my parents were always there if i needed to and asked me how they could help.
As for being a support for someone close: This can often be just s difficult as dealing with MH yourself. I think the key is not to pressure to someone, but always gently remind them you're there to suuport and actually ask how you could help. It's different for everyone. I just needed space and understanding. I know some of those closest to me need to talk sometimes or distraction. It's hard getting the balance right, but as hard as it is, I think it's best to try and ask how you can help. Some people (like me and some of those closest to me)hate being asked how we are, but like to know peiople care. It's just finding ways to be supported and understanding which can vary from person to person
Now I'm just rambling.. really hope some of that makes sense.. and if I didn't answer your questions at all, I'm sorry!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2014 14:35:38 GMT
As a sufferer: (Hertfordshire) The support I have received has been both helpful and insightful but also drabb and unhelpful but overall more good than bad! I have had quick responses and appointments, friendly and understanding therapists and doctors (for the most part) and they've always provided the help that I have seeked sometimes more.
As a supporter for someone close: (SE London) Handled fast, confidentially and it was very helpful. When someone has something like a depressive breakdown they are in the unknown, they become scared and they don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. The Crisis team were absolutely fantastic and the person I was supporting wouldn't be as well as she is now without them! The buddy scheme however was not overly helpful. But that's just one thing out of three different things!
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Post by Toni-Louise on Jan 8, 2014 19:29:16 GMT
Thank you for your responses they are very helpful =]
I am also wondering in terms of say cpns, social workers etc if anyone has any experience of this
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Post by ellief on Jan 28, 2014 12:31:02 GMT
TRIGGER WARNING: self harm and suicide. My experience of support has been a difficult one. My dad has almost no understanding of mental health and appeared to believe I couldn't possibly be ill. Ended up getting made homeless because I couldn't make him understand, and he didn't think I should be on the meds the doctor gave. Friends have been my main support, even housing me, calling ambulances or police when necessary, one friend has restrained me many times, and obviously we have lots of good times together too. They are very accepting and non judgemental. A couple of close friends, who are married to each other, have been my closest support, they come to my appointments with me when necessary and are always the other end of the phone (via text cus I hate phone calls!) when I need them. The mental health services? Not so great tbh. My first CPN was OK, she was there if I needed her, she checked my cuts if necessary and monitored my weight, but she was in the assessment phase, which only can last 6 months. For me it lasted 7 because they can't handover until your clear of hospital admissions, and during that time I'd taken 17 overdoses. My new CPN is a lot more understanding and doesn't dismiss what I say, which is good. My main difficulty with the mental health services is that they contradict each other. My psychiatrist I don't see often, but he is responsible for me CPN, and me, said I need to see an eating disorders specialist. The eating disorders specialist won't see me. I used to be able to call the crisis team when in crisis, but now I've been told not to, but to call the ward instead (having been on the ward and not had it as a positive experience I will only do this if I really really have to) and their response can vary from "have a cup of tea" to "we will send police and they will bring you in." Both my CPNs have had serious problems keeping me safe, as I have BPD and am highly suicidal daily, and the police and the general hospital were basically yelling at them because they think they should be doing more, and as a result I was told I needed to stop people calling the police if I was in crisis. However with no one else to call, because the crisis numbers won't help when your trying to kill yourself there and then, people willer sort to the police. I've also been told I can't have therapy until I'm less of a risk of suicide, but that risk isn't lessening and they won't admit me, so I'm not sure how they expect improvement.
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Post by Helen on Jan 28, 2014 23:35:52 GMT
I'm so sorry that so many people have let you down Ellie. Your friends sound great though!
The first time I was referred to CAMHs I'd say they involved my family too much. My family didn't know enough about my problems and by starting treating me by listening to my family it gave them wrong preconceptions about my problems. This meant I didn't trust them and just refused to engage in the service as I didn't feel listened to.
When I was referred to the Adult Mental Health services at 16/17 all the CPNs I dealt with were very judgemental. *Trigger warning*: They seemed shocked at my levels of self-harming. I don't see how they wouldn't have come across those types of self-harming in their job though. They in fact made me feel worse because it seemed like they felt I was wasting their time because they didn't want to deal with them. Surprisingly enough I didn't stick it out with them.
While at university I got referred straight to a psychiatrist who was very friendly but didn't suggest much help. We mostly chatted about random stuff in our sessions and I kept a lot from her. After some dramatic circumstances I got referred back to my home mental health services who were again judgemental.
Last summer I got in such a state but was unable to communicate it in the condition I was in. I did something unwise and took some leftover medication from my previous visits to the psychiatrist but it was enough to get me to be able to make it to the doctors. I then got referred to the Crisis Team as I was so erratic. The Crisis Team initially were terrible and kept telling me I was depressed which I clearly wasn't and to take calming drugs that I find to be very addictive. Finally one of them referred me to their psychiatrist and I honestly think that woman saved my life.
My most recent visits to the mental people have all been to see a psychiatrist which I have found to be much more productive. I am very against CPNs because I have never experienced a good one.
I've always been told I can bring people along to appointments but would never have found this useful as none of my family know enough about my problems to be helpful and in that situation would probably be shocked.
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