JC
Newbie
Posts: 47
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Post by JC on Jan 2, 2014 14:29:42 GMT
For eight years, my mental illness meant that I stopped writing. How could I possibly imagine a better world when I lived in one that was such hell? A mental health organisation I visit suggested I try and get back into it because it could be a future source of income for me. So I'm trying to get back into writing, not just to develop the skill, but also because I used to enjoy it. I've decided to start my own blog under a fictional female pen name (I'm male in reality), which is made up of names that represent a group of people that once kept me going when I was on my knees. I'm going to write things specifically for the blog and keep my other work to myself, but it's still scary and I'm not sure whether I'll maintain it or whether anyone will visit. Here's the link anyway: hannahstevensonline.blogspot.co.uk/My first proper post on there is a piece of work dedicated to Minds Like Ours and to its members, so I hope you like it. JC
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Post by Toni-Louise on Jan 3, 2014 0:19:24 GMT
I thought it was great hope to read more from you soon =]
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JC
Newbie
Posts: 47
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Post by JC on Jan 4, 2014 21:53:28 GMT
Thank you, appreciate that.
I don't know, I know it's only been a couple of days, but I'm not sure about it now. I've always kept my writing to myself and putting it on a blog is only embarrassing me at the moment.
I may discontinue the blog and the pen name.
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Post by Michaela on Jan 5, 2014 19:45:43 GMT
Have you taken the blog down JC? I thought it was a really positive idea - I've done this myself and find it very theraputic. Doing it under a pen name keeps you safe - you aren't making yourself vulnerable in the same way and it can be really helpful to be able to express yourself. It's not like anyone will know you, only what you tell them. It's your decision of course, but it would be really great if you decided to do it again xx
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JC
Newbie
Posts: 47
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Post by JC on Jan 5, 2014 23:01:36 GMT
Yeah, I've taken it down and perhaps that was a bit of quick decision. I've reactivated it but have deleted the posts that were on it, so if I want to go back to it, I will.
It was just a suggestion from someone at a mental health organisation I visit to maybe put my work on a blog for people to read, but it just embarrassed me. I think people, including myself, confuse having a good vocabulary and being articulate on paper as being a good writer.
I'm not being self-pitying or too hard on myself when I say my work really isn't worth the paper it's written on.
So yeah, I just made a genuine mistake in putting my work online.
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Post by Michaela on Jan 5, 2014 23:35:46 GMT
It's not all about being a perfect writer though, it's more about it being theraputic for you. Maybe you just weren't ready yet, hopefully you will choose to come back to it in the future
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JC
Newbie
Posts: 47
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Post by JC on Jan 6, 2014 13:32:14 GMT
I don't know, it's difficult for me to judge myself.
Not only are we all our own worst critics, I also have very low self-esteem. I think for now, I'll post two of the three bits and pieces that were on that blog here, as it's less exposed than a blog.
One thing I would ask is that I'm not judged on the quality of these. I know I can do much better than this, but as someone at the Mental Health Organisation I visit says, I am rusty after rejecting my writing for so long.
Also apologies if they're camp or cringeworthy for a man. It's the reason I write them under a female pen name as writing them as myself would just make things even more embarrassing.
Anyway, I'm just posting them so you have an idea of what was there and as I say, I think I can be much better than this.
The first one is about this site. The second one is actually about a girl, but as I've written it under a female pen name, I've tried to gender neutralise it.
Minds Like Ours - Writing As Hannah Stevens (Pen Name) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
When you think you're all alone and no seems to care, Minds Like Ours wanna be there.
When you're in distress and life seems without hope, Minds Like Ours wanna help you cope.
You may think no-one understands you, but they've been in your shoes and really do.
You will never have to face laughing or sniggers, because they more than most understand your triggers.
While Psychologists and Doctors have to train, they're just people who've lived with mental pain.
So if you suffer alone and want to be with those who understand, visit Minds Like Ours to meet people who can.
The Goddess - Writing As Hannah Stevens (Pen Name) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The moment he saw her, he immediately knew he looking upon a Goddess.
In the face of overwhelming truth, there is no need for her to be modest and for him to deny her would be the very definition of dishonest.
Beauty exudes from every pore of her diminutive body and when other men attempt to sexualise her, it feels to him like the desecration of a true jewel of our nation.
He imagines her smile and it fills him with the power to run a hundred miles, whilst the thought of her tears makes him want to say the sweetest words that he desperately hopes she hears.
To him, to so many others, she is a Goddess and as she sings the chorus of her song, he knows he’ll always love other women less because he loves her so much more.
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Post by Michaela on Jan 6, 2014 17:11:11 GMT
Haha that MiLO one is really cool! We should have it on the website or something
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